To attack or not to attack...that is the question.

WHY WHY WHY do I do this?  I found this picture online and it described me perfectly.  I over think things WAY too much, and I've been doing it a lot lately. I hate it.  I want to stop it but it's practically impossible.  When Casey gets quiet and doesn't say much I instantly replay everything over in my head wondering what I did wrong.  "Was it something I said? Did I not kiss him at the right time? Did I make the wrong food? What did I do?"

       

Oh...and the jealousy monster has been coming out lately too.  What the heck is going on?  Casey and I like watching the newlywed game on TV (which we did this morning). Big mistake.  An interesting question was asked about your husbands previous relationship.  Me, being the stupid curious girl that I am, proceeded to ask him (yes...I asked. It's my fault.) what he would have answered.  Obviously it wasn't the answer I wanted to hear and instantly wanted to attack. WW3 was about to take place in our living room, and the evil monster inside was ready to be unleashed.  I wanted to hunt down his ex girlfriend first and then deal with him later.  I bet you can guess what happened next.

        

   No no no, I didn't beat up his ex. I didn't attack him with my air soft gun either.

 (I should have though. The air soft gun part.)

My thinker started thinking again.  (Yes I know...shame on  me).  "I'm not good enough for him. His ex was perfect and I'm not. He wishes I was her. They were young and fun and I'm boring and dull..." MAKE IT STOP!!!! I won, he loves me, I know it's true. He married me and not her. I'm the one he picked.  I'm the one he loves.  

Isn't that just sick and wrong though?  Why on earth do I do that? It actually really ticks me off because I know better than to think like that. It's all my fault and I can't blame anyone but myself which ticks me off even more. It's always better when you can put the blame on someone else.

In conclusion...

Quit worrying (impossible)

Watch the newlywed game alone (possible) 

Don't reach into his past (never never ever again)

Don't bite off more than I can chew (I'll work on that)

On a positive note, aren't my two nieces so cute! I was having some fun with my new camera that my wonderful husband bought me for Christmas.  I may get jealous but I still love that sexy beast.

Gemma & Sophie